5 Lbs!

Dear, dear blog readers!! After working very hard this week (and perhaps being done with female emotional syndrome that attacks every month) I weighed myself this morning and have a grand total of 170lbs! I have officially lost five pounds and I am very happy. This morning's breakfast is a light one of cereal and one banana and then off to dance class....

I would love to thank Rebekah Phillips for this weekend, though. I went over her house and normally we totally fill ourselves with food all day long, however she made me a fruit salad as a snack with a little spoonful of nutella on top and then for dinner we had whole wheat subs with nothing but lots of lettuce, peppers, cucumbers, olives and jalepeno  and banana peppers with Honey Mustard dressing.

I must say - pineapple with nutella.....I gasped from the deliciousness and was glad she only gave me that one spoonful!

Signing off!
Height: 5'4"
Weight: 170lbs

Happy now, sad later....

No...more like so utterly remorseful and full of so much guilty pains that I've cried about it. I don't know why I did it...maybe dealing with stress, maybe I was upset about something, maybe Aunt Flow is coming to visit or maybe it was all of these combined.

But, on Wednesday, I bought a box of doughnuts at Spikes. Each doughnut was 190 calories. There were three kinds and four each, making 12 doughnuts with a total of the whole box coming to 2280 calories (yeah, I used a calculator just now because my brain is fried from school and if I tried thinking mental math with two and three digits, look out for a mental breakdown).

All the doughnuts were gone by Sunday...and I had them hidden in my room. Those four days I didn't think about it, but on Sunday when I weighed myself and saw I gained four pounds I kind of went over the top with emotions. I was upset and so far every night when I go to bed I do cry under the covers...and I'm crying now.

They saying writing about this kind of stuff is therapeutic and I think it might be because you can tell people your troubled without having to look at them face to face. Perhaps it's to get things out that even you didn't know about yourself.

I don't know...

I'd write more, but I have to get ready for work...maybe more later.
Signing off for now....

Height: 5'4"
Weight....174lbs :'(

To the Gym!

Meet my best friend.
Her name is Sasquabadalia.
If it were not for her I would despise the gym and call it an utterly boring place. 
However, with Sasqua clipped to my side, I can get into the music and forget about exercising...while I'm exercising. Especially when I'm on the bike, I stare out the window and fantasize while I listen music - whether it be a dance I'm choreographing or just a really intense song. With her I have exercised at the gym for an hour and a half and she made it feel like nothing at all.

It is amazing what the body can do when not paying attention.

So I went across the parking lot after work to the gym and for a half hour I went on two weight machines that when used in different ways it worked on my arms and upper/lower back. I did a weight that seemed effortless at first, but after 3 sets of 20 reps, they were aching. This helps with not only strength, but also endurance. I did the same thing for my legs on the leg extensions/leg curls machine. By 2:25 I was on the bike, pedaling away for twenty minutes, all the while Sasquabadalia was going through the music of Love Never Dies - the second Phantom musical only in London right now (which I pre-ordered the dvd that I won't get until May 28th, but that's besides the point). Before I knew it, I burned 164 calories on just the bike by 2:45. Then, I went into the aerobics room that has wall to wall mirrors like a dance room and started stretching for the next 45 minutes. By 3:30 my body was so warmed and stretched I was not only sitting in a kneeling back bend with my toes touching my head, but also in a split (only on my left side) with my back leg lifted and my toes touching my head (that would make such a great ring leap....).

 I like using the weights first because it warmed up all my muscles before I got on the bike. The bike made me even warmer and helped me to sweat. By the time I got to my favorite part - stretching - I was so warm that it seemed effortless and my flexibility exceeded.

On a dancing schedule I can only keep this three days a week, but this week I can go for four days straight....
Right now, Sasqua is charging. She needs to keep up her strength so I can too :)

Signing off....

Height: 5'4"
Weight: 171Lbs
Mood: A little hopeful

The Vaccum Effect

 That's Baby on the right. The little bugger on the left is her daughter, Molly

 

We once had a goat. Her name was Baby. She always reminded me of those girls who were so tall and extremely skinny and ate as much as they wanted because they were runners or had a high metabolism...or both, God bless 'em. That wasn't all though - that she ate a lot. She would eat so fast that I swear she seriously sucked down all her food that if you blinked, you would have missed it. She would always be the first to be done eating (and we would have to feed her more because she would kick the milk bucket) and her lips would just stretch out and...if I was into video editing back then I probably would have gotten some major hits on youtube if I added in some vaccum engines.
The thing is...she was a goat. If a cat ate like that, or a dog, or even a sloth, they would gain weight so fast that they would eventually not be able to move. Unlike the animal, we don't have people to portion our food and feed us (unfortunately). We're big kids now. We have to learn to stop - chew - put the fork down - say something to who you are eating with - take a sip of water...and move on to the next bite. Eating a meal on the go is the worst because then you're training yourself to jam all the food in your mouth, leaving just a enough time for perhaps some seconds, and leave. Then, by the time you get to work, or school, or (even worse) dancing school, the waist on your pants (or your tights) has left a serious red strip across your stomach because that tight, pinny pain you knew where it came from and so...blame it on the food baby.
The thing about the goat is that she was who she was. Those calories she sucked down from all the sticky and sweet molasses coated grains were certainly used somewhere. But she's like that runner or that girl who burns calories so fast that she looses a pound just by texting (or guys....darn you guys, you have such high metabolisms, I'm so jealous). I have noticed that even though I am active, I gain weight so easily. As a matter of fact, I have been working in a kitchen now for a year and just by tasting food everyday (mainly those dumb desserts and extra fries that get left over, I'm ashamed to say) I have gained twenty - yes twenty - pounds. You don't think I have gone to bed crying at night under my covers? I hate how food makes me feel after I have eaten it and yet I love the way it makes me feel while I'm eating it.

That's it, though.
I'm done and I've certainly had enough.
I can't take it anymore and I want to change.

The last blog post was about staying away from the sweets. I did not have one (or seriously two) of the desserts at work yesterday nor did I eat one of their delicious no-bakes (with the peanut butter and chocolate - seriously, guys, the salty and sweet?) However, I did eat one doughnut on a girl date after work which was exactly 200 calories. Now compare that 200 calories to the  500 calories I would have eaten if I had that warm chocolate pudding cake and a cookie (or two).  If you think about it, I saved myself 300 calories in desserts yesterday. I did eat a dessert, so I screwed up there, however I managed to cut down on the amount of calories to consume.

Goals for Today?

• Chew gum - not food. I had breakfast already, why am I eating at work - AGAIN.

• Avoid the temptation of the sweets - if you can't, remember that mom has a batch of those delicious dark chocolate brownies waiting for you at home that are cut into reasonable size pieces...so just put it off until you get home. The good thing? You  might forget about it.

DUDE - I seriously want a shower that looks like this!!!

• Go to the gym - I haven't gone yet this week, but mainly due too something going on at home. There's nothing going on today so it's perfect...and guess what! They have these awesome showers that have lights that automatically turn on when you walk in!!! Eeeeee!!!!!

Thanks for hearing me rant.
This is, Mic signing off....

Height: 5'4"
Weight: 171lbs
Mood: Bloated and kinda moody.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Before I get started, I'd like to say that I started trying to loose weight a week ago with a confidential weight journal I bought from Amazon.com . It is a great book and in week one I've already lost two pounds, however I want to also write about it. I think it will keep me honest and accountable...As well as therapeutic.

*deep breath* Here I go....

You know how that saying goes? That one about how women are (or should be) made of sugar and spice and everything nice? Well, we're not, but I noticed we like eating those things that are made from sugar and spice....and oh you know the phrase I'm not going to repeat it. I noticed my guilty pleasure is eating things that are made with sugar and salt OR eating two things together made from sugar and salt. For example - pretzels and apples, apples and peanut butter...ooo, peanut butter.....pretzels and chocolate, popcorn and fruit (like an orange or an apple) etc. I sincerely hope it's a lot of women out there who like sugar and salty things because otherwise this is just embarrassing....

Anyway....

I'm a performer, dancing mainly, and one thing about someone who performs (dancers especially) lights and tights don't lie. I'm forty pounds overweight - yeah, that's a lot - and I want to change. I want to find solutions to the things that make me this way. Like problem number one - sweet and salty. It's ok to have the popcorn and fruit for a snack, that's actually healthy especially the way we make popcorn, but the chocolate and pretzels and the apple and peanut butter? I have to cut back. Apple and peanut butter alone is an easy 300 calorie snack (and that's just your average apple and 2 tablespoons of peanut butter). Snacks are...well, nice for when you're on the go and you don't have to time to make or sit and eat a meal. However, if you have breakfast (snack) lunch (snack) dinner (bedtime snack)....midnight cereal...that's when the calories add up and food isn't something that you are using to survive. Food becomes something else. Something you hate, yet can't stay away from.

It's going to be hard, but I want to make a pledge to you readers out there....and believe me, this is so incredibly hard for me to say because I know (really know not just metaphorically) people who would and probably will make fun of me for my weight and confessions.

I am 19 years old

Height: 5'4"

Weight: 171lbs 

And I am on a mission to overcome my addiction to food...and I have now become officially accountable to you.